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Osita  McEvidence - My Blog
Osita McEvidence - My Blog


Fear of Expressing Yourself
Translations available in: English (original) | French | Spanish | Italian | German | Portuguese | Swedish | Russian | Dutch | Arabic

Communication is the vital aspect to any healthy or unhealthy relationship. This important element is what makes or breaks marriages, friendships, family relations, dating relations, and more. The root of communication grows deep into every aspect of your life.

The ability to express yourself to someone else allows you to relate yourself to that person. By articulating your feelings you can consent to a significant human need. People survive on human interaction. The hope is that it is all positive interaction, but this isn't always the case. We as people also deal with negative feelings. Like the positive, dealing with the negative is just as important.

If there is a fear of expressing the feelings that are growing inside you, then communication is very hard or doesn't exist. This ceases reaching one of those basic needs of interaction. This can lead people into unhealthy relationships. The fearful party doesn't get those valued emotions out and the other party is left uneducated to the situation.

There can be many situations that can lead to the fear of expressing. A person can have that fear due to a variety of life experiences such as; poor childhood, learned behavior, being shut down by an aggressor, afraid of the counter reaction, and so much more. The major point is that fear is not a personality flaw; it is a learned, instilled from some type of experience, and becomes the new found coping method. This is very unhealthy for all parties involved.

Fear of the reaction of the other person is very common. That is a high reason for most individuals. Being afraid if they will get mad, not listen, lash out, or any type of negative response can hinder that exchange of sentiment. This fear may or may not be justified in the eyes of the recipient, but for that fearful sender it is always justified.

Now to over come that fear is not and never will be easy. The most important objective is though to make that effort, get those emotions on the table and let the cards fall where the may. You can't control how someone else will act or respond, but you can control you and your composure. You can and should place your happiness above that fear.

Tips on over coming that fear. Write down what it is you want to share with that individual, that way if you start to feel pressure or intimidated you don't start repressing your thoughts. Practice what you want to say and say it out loud so that you can hear the emotions leave your tongue. Set up a meeting time for this communication until you can better express on an impromptu setting. Finally, most of importantly remember that the emotions are you feelings and no one can hold that against you or take that a way. Your feelings belong to you.

November 15, 2008 | 10:27 AM Comments  0 comments



expression
Translations available in: English (original) | French | Spanish | Italian | German | Portuguese | Swedish | Russian | Dutch | Arabic

Expressing an opinion or an emotion can be very intimidating in certain situations. We are taught from a very young age to "think before we speak" and this advice is indeed wise to follow. Sometimes, it is not so easy. There have been occasions when I have spoken without thinking and this has usually resulted in hurting someone's feelings. Learning from these mistakes has taught me to express myself, with careful consideration.


My mother was a very soft spoken, yet expressed herself very well. She is always respectful and when she offered advice, I always listened. However, my father was a dominate male who felt we should keep our opinions to ourselves. My mom was able to find that balance to keep the peace in her marriage. I, however, being the independent individual that I was, expressed myself as openly and often as I could. This would more times than not, result in a great deal of friction between my dad and me.

Growing up with two completely different personalities was confusing at times. I admired my mother and her gentle nature. I believe this was the real reason I spoke up and developed a confidence to do so. We learn so much from observing others and as much as I respected her, I never wanted to feel as if my opinions and feelings did not matter.


Learning to express myself is an ongoing lesson. Communication is the best way I know to build strong relationships both personally and professionally. I admire those who can share their views without sounding arrogant or overconfident. It builds a mutual respect and allows each of us to be ourselves without the risk of being judged.


Expression, through writing has given me great satisfaction. I know others may or may not share these views but it is in the freedom of this expression that I love. there may be positive response or not at all, but I appreciate the opportunity to say what I think. It is okay to be reviewed by another person and if a criticism is given, I learn from it and do not take it personally. This is the freedom and opportunity; we are allowed to have in this great country.


raping it up, I am not afraid of expressing myself. I am proud to be able to do so and I am still learning to "think before I speak". The beauty in writing is we can backspace and delete, starting all over without doing any harm. Words are a powerful tool that can hurt someone or help them heal. Express yourself with confidence and others will appreciate what you have to say.

October 28, 2008 | 8:11 AM Comments  0 comments

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Humor
Translations available in: English (original) | French | Spanish | Italian | German | Portuguese | Swedish | Russian | Dutch | Arabic

Humor is the source of happiness. It allows each individual to relieve stress and fight through the struggles of everyday life. I can say from personal experience that if it was not for my sense of humor and ability to laugh at all the problems that seem to come my way I would have given up on life in general. Humor enables us to abolish our worries and see that there are bigger more important things in life than our day-to-day miseries. The person that first said that laughter is contagious knew what he/she was talking about. I have been known to get into what I call "laughing fits." It is when I start laughing hard at a joke or some random comment made, and the people around me start laughing because I am laughing. It gets even better after that because I in turn laugh twice as much do to the fact that everyone around me is laughing. The laughter only stops when the pain in my face and stomach become to much to handle. It is in these moments that a group of people can all share true happiness if only for a minute or two.(Some have been known to go from 15 to 30 minutes.) Whether a person had the worst day ever a simple joke could turn not only his/her day around but just maybe his/her entire life. Do not hesitate to give anyone a smile, a laugh, or a joke. Spread peace and love to all.


July 28, 2008 | 2:34 PM Comments  0 comments

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